The WhackMan Reviews: Chunky Cheerleaders 2

March 31, 2007 on 3:48 am | In ALL, DVD Review | No Comments

Skin Tight’s trying to slide a couple by The WhackMan today with Chunky Cheerleaders 2, a so-so flick that has some decent highs coupled with some horrid fucking lows.

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Malorie Marx is an okay looking Latin chick with a decent body. She could tighten up a bit, but ain’t anywhere near “chunky”. She sucks cock like she wants to do it for a living, then dives into gettin’ fucked by Mark Wood with the kind of reckless abandon that makes The WhackMan’s fucking day. The hot moaning coming outta her whore mouth got The WhackMan off twice. Damn fine job, Malorie.

Scene 2 features Jeremy Steele taking it to this tubby cheerleader bitch. Now this bitch is fat, and throughout the course of the scene Mr. Steele takes every opportunity to remind her of it. It’s damn funny, but what is no laughing matter is how Jeremy loses his erection while fucking this tubby bitch. The WhackMan can understand, but, “Mr. Steele�, you are supposed to be a professional, just like The WhackMan. Fix that shit!

Scene 3 starts off with Jeremy and the beautiful Lauren Smith. They’re supervising two fat cheerleader bitches while they workout topless. After that funny shit the hot black Nika Chanel gets a good white dickin’ from Jeremy. The sex is pretty hot, so much so that 2 more of The WhackMan’s loads fired real nice and good.

And the last scene is complete dogshit. This old fat bitch and this other old fat fuck go at each other in a real sad way. This middle-aged fuck has one pathetic little dick. It didn’t even look like he was hard the entire time. Scene 4 pissed The WhackMan off something fierce.

Scenes 2 & 4 are awful. 1 & 3 got it goin’ on. But the terms of The WhackMan’s contract stipulates in triplicate that The WhackMan “judge the ‘films’ as a whole”.

4 loads blown to Chunky Cheerleaders 2.

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The WhackMan Reviews: Girl Bang

March 30, 2007 on 8:05 am | In ALL, DVD Review | No Comments

Pure Filth is livin’ up to its name today by bringing The WhackMan Girl Bang, a damn fine lesbian orgy lick fest that’ll leave you wanting more and more and FUCKING MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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13 bitches are gettin’ their freak on in this luscious dyke inferno. This flick features all kinds of glorious shit: nipples fucking vaginas, hard finger banging, vibrators and dildos, tons of fucking muff diving, 69 action, and plenty of – what The WhackMan fell particularly in love with – the filthy dirty girl talk. These bitches prove pretty conclusively that they don’t necessarily need the cack, but The WhackMan got the feeling that if one was there these wild bitches would’ve eaten the fuck out of it. And The WhackMan does literally mean “eatâ€?. They probably would’ve bitten that shit off, divided it up, then drank it down with a nice Merlot.

Girl Bang has got all the lesbian action you can handle, but it drifts and drags at points, but what holds it to-fucking-gether is the fact that there are ten exposed breasts at all times. The WhackMan blasted 7 pearly loads to it. It’s worth your fucking time.

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